Theonion 关于TD的消息可能是他们的YY之作，有几分可信，我自己也不知道。不过很有趣，特别在这百无聊赖的休赛期，在spurstalk上又找到几个。
Tim Duncan Delivers Heartfelt Speech On Fiscal Responsibility During Spurs Victory Celebration
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tim_duncan_delivers
SAN ANTONIO—Following a Spurs Sunday victory parade during which Tim
Duncan regaled the crowd with uncharacteristically exuberant exclamations
of "Thank you very much" and "Please, there's no need to make so much
noise," the normally reserved power forward expressed his appreciation for
his fans by speaking at length on the importance of being financially
prepared in an increasingly uncertain world. "I can't tell you how much I value
your support except through telling you it's not really enough to keep a little
money in savings for a rainy day, never independently contributing to your
401(k) or considering simple CDs or mutual-funds," a misty-eyed Duncan said,
using charts he drew up earlier in the season to demonstrate debt-to- savings
ratios to the 12,000 fans who crowded the River Walk. "Your greatest equity
ill of course be in your home, but even then, careful consideration is required
before choosing between fixed- or variable-rate mortgages, especially for the
greatest fans in the world." Fans who stayed for the 90-minute speech said
it was even better than the emotional plea Duncan made during the Spurs'
2003 championship celebration, in which he urged revelers to make sure they
purchased adequate life insurance.
Tim Duncan Forwards Story About Particle Accelerator To Spurs Teammates
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/tim_duncan_forwards_story?utm_source=onion_sports_rss
SAN ANTONIO—Spurs center Tim Duncan once again attempted to
simultaneously bond with his teammates and enrich their lives on Tuesday
when the two-time NBA MVP forwarded an article about the Large Hadron
Collider, the world's largest particle accelerator, to each player on the
Spurs. "I hope they found reading about the Large Hadron Collider experiment
to recreate the first instants in the birth of our universe as engaging as I
did," Duncan said, adding that if his teammates respond positively to the
article, he would also send them a related article on quantum
chromodynamics recently published in Scientific American. "It will be
interesting to find out if they have similar theories about space, matter, and
time." In the past three months, Duncan has reportedly forwarded articles on
the evolution of the roseola virus, the technology of geothermal energy
research, and caring for koi fish in a backyard pond
